theres a bullet in the gun

likeavirgin @ 2005-03-30T22:36:00

2005-03-31T03:40:56Z

thank you for that indefinable nothing

shizam

2004-11-24T05:00:45Z

golden girls season 1 on dvd today

magics in the make up

2004-05-19T03:47:03Z

live journal can suck my ass.. but i will still come up with somewhat of an update for whatever reason...
everything is looking up.. slowly but surely.. but i still stop to question this new reality because it seems so sureal that this has all come to me.
ive grown so much without so much i once had.. but i never take anything for granted or let my mind eat alive my memory.
i love absolutely everything about working for mac, i am greatful that ive been offered such great opportunities to learn and grow with this company in such a short time..
i am also greatful for being around such talented and wonderful inspiring people.
in more exciting news rosi finally had her baby girl oliviana.. the little japarican irish angel.
my brother gets out of jail in 3 weeks..
my bebes n i almost got our apartment which we would have been in in 2 weeks but decided not to bc we realized we couldnt get rid of maori ..
so the search still continues and by next month hopefully ill be out of this house and into our own place

and this time barbie is left unmutilated because you have grown too old to play, so she remains unharmed in her cardboard and plastic box and shes doing just fine, and hopefully she remains this way so that in years to come her value will grow..
looking back at all the limbless bodies and half shaved disattached heads, she is fortunate.

likeavirgin @ 2004-03-30T23:06:00

2004-03-31T04:06:55Z

i now work for m.a.c. cosmetics
thank you and good day

viva la revlolution

2004-03-11T06:59:04Z

sometimes while everything is going.. i stop..
like going 90 mph and slam the brakes
maybe its breathlessness.
in my cycle i have returned to the point where i have reached the very top where i become utterly fed up... the only way out is to burst... repeat cycle and start over...
well i have reached that point it seems...
blinding madness and emotion that literally puts you in a state sort of like dementia..
i am sick of complaints, of scribble for sake of advertisement. you may speak but do you stop to ask or listen?
which is simply why i am conditioned to my silence.. and my unhealthy patterns of too much air supply... and back to 90...

maybe im hungry... for something else...
i don't want to keep looking foreward to something knowing from the start that nothing will come out in my favor... because a false sense of hope is the only kind offered to me.

everything is a lie... everything is the truth...
and its both depending on how i feel at the moment

i want you home again..
but for you to have learned your lesson and never have to wear orange again.
i want you alive again...
all of you and not just in my heart.
i want things to go up instead of down or still....
i don't want to see anymore commercials on talking to your friends about marajuana and alcohol because the ones from the 90's with the girl drowning in a pool and the little black girl on the swing who's brother won't be able to teach her how to ride her bike ... those were far better and were about real fucking drugs...

and im sorry that i broke the rules of ohana...
im sorry that im not sorry im basically engaged and genuinely happy.. but i am sorry that you will never be, for me...

there is more but it disapears through translation and lack thereof.

and then its over.. just like that
rinse. wash . repeat.

got more head then he got bodayyy

2004-01-17T18:02:23Z

likeavirgin @ 2003-12-07T23:39:00

2003-12-08T04:48:39Z

In the chinese new year,2003 is the year of the ram,the black sheep. To briefly summarize,It is said that much blackness and misfortunate follow the black sheep. Coincidentally the year ends in Capricorn,my zodiac sign which is ruled by the ram...They say that december 2003 holds possible significant events concerning the Antichrist,the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,the 666 dat interval date ect..
that is all.

best wishes to a sloshed viking

2003-12-03T18:31:15Z

Happy birsday Krista!!!!!!

that is all..

shake it like a polaroid picture

2003-11-01T05:30:03Z

yesterday the heat was on, the fashion show didnt go as smooth as planned, courtesey of bullshit grimey bitches and 5 min before we were suposed to go on the bouncers decided to kick my girl nicole out of her own fashion show.. FUCK THAT! and the bitch she did the show with (her "best" friend) expected us to go out there after her girls in nicoles clothes when she wasnt even there.. this bitch didnt do so much as to defend nicole and got loud and disrespectful to me as im changin bout to leave.. sayin shit like nicole would have wanted us to go on with the show n even offerin to pay us to stay..
i may take shit for a little while but you fuck with me the wrong way and you'll get it worse then someone who cant take any amount of shit.. so i stepped up to this bitch but my boy n another dude broke it up, which seems logical to me now that im not as heated especially cause this bitch was not worth shit. it just proves how fucking selfish and grimey people who are suposed to be your friends can be.
im tired as fuck and home on halloween cause this day still fucks me up since it was always mine and meghans holiday.. but at least i got to see leetle peoples in their costumes n little fat heads dressed like my stitch n one little bebes as rollie pollie olie..

me in the bloody tampon looking zombie skirt w/ the leather corset hotness n lesssss sucia echo

n me n my joey bebes
ninis

Violate, one time, I cock the nine

2003-10-30T04:34:33Z

fashion show tomorrow the 30th @ the lions den in the city..
the turn out should be better since the girls promoted the shit outta it.. and the clothes are promised to be that much hotter..
plus people from mac and other people who could open doors for all of us will be there..nicole has me in her fav outfit, as her usual sickly beautiful skill.. the outfits made of gauze with blood and shit all over so i can strut it zombie style..
working n still takin my classes at fit n apartment hunting in brooklyn with my joey so hopefully we'll hav a place soon so we can raise the bebe maori puppy.
im changing shit for myself, no more empty promises, no more police raids, no more screaming, no more .. its time to take the girl out of the dirty.. but ill always be dirty cause you can't take the dirtyness out of the girl
thank you and get bent :)

i aint got a full deck nigga

2003-10-17T02:10:16Z

i decided to keep this lil bebe out of all 8
shes got blue eyes and a blue tint to her fur which is really rare n shes lil and thinks my fingers are ninis but they're not.. i decided to name her Maori... cause i dont have a chihuaha yet to name her lilo n him stitch.. n im gonna keep her in a playpen and make her little puppy clothes. that is all

abre los ojos

2003-09-27T06:43:59Z

this shit is killin me n nothing is ever gonna change..
you still don't fucking learn your lesson after how many times and we are the ones who have to pay for it..and thats the harshest i feel because i can't help but be more upset than mad. 11 dogs in this house that we have to take care of and this time its for real...
but somehow i am still conditioned to think otherwise.. but in my head i know this is it.
.i dont think i can live in this house without you, but this time there is nothing left for us to do...

so i dropped 2 of my classes at f.i.t...so now i only have my saturday classes. but in jan ill take the fashion styling class cause i decided fuck the degree n just take certificate classes. my cookie told me devanche, her well known salon in the city needs a make-up artist n her mom referred me to no end, so i have to call tomorrow ::crosses fingers::

last night joey n i went to ill nino n i have to say is they create some of the most beautiful music ever made.. no gin or juice or sucia... n one of the bands even made a shout out to sworn enemy. nice seein u too girls!

i went to visit eli the other day and stole the rubberbands off everyone's flowers they left him on his birthday and put them on my wrist with the rest of them...

everything is either at a stand still or is spiraling downward..
i don't know what else is left for the taking...

the bebes the bebes

2003-09-21T07:00:23Z

more peektures
total of 8 lil killaaas.. i think i want the bebe female tyson
you want one too cause they look like ham hams!!

everything else can suck my ass n stay out of my bidness..

likeavirgin @ 2003-09-19T00:25:00

2003-09-19T07:30:02Z

2 hours ago brownie's water broke on my mattress eww
n so far 2 puppies have been born.. now the basement smells like placenta, blood, piss and shit.. and weed too. nice
the first one came out out of the sac n aj had to cut the cord n blood was squirtin out everywhere..that was fine but i wasn't prepared for the second one which did come out in the sac and good gat. brownies still a puppy herself practically n shes bein real difficult not understanding that the bebes need her milk n she keeps tryin to grab em with her mouth to move em by her face but she bites a lil too hard so we gotta keep a real close eye n make sure she doesn't hurt them..
i wanna name one isabel after the hurricane.. after 6 weeks we'll give most of em away n hopefully joey n i can keep one n our apt will allow pets..anways time for sleep..

happy birthday e to the li, you are truly missed

how can i live without you

2003-09-17T04:30:55Z

the things we do in our spare time and why i love my bebes

i bring you cletus the frog

n this one was already dead i promise this

mmmmm il nino 9/25 in the dirty! you know how its done

talk is cheap motherfucka

2003-09-03T21:28:37Z

i have a lot of things swimming inside my head, washing ashore,and back to deep waters..
rinse, wash, repeat..ect
back to being busy without the burden of information overloading or the frustrations often accompanied by intense thought..
but i am smiling, genuinely because there is happiness in my heart.
someone once asked me to promise them that i would never change who i was...
and in turn i asked that person to do the same...
and i remember saying that people who share our same altruistic qualities are only truly appreciated and seen as having a selfless heart, once they are dead.
and i remember 4 days later burying that same person whom I shared that conversation with.
i am who i am... only from here on in im stronger and my once plentitude of forgiveness has partially descended.

anyways started f.i.t. yesterday... don't get me wrong i love designing and making my own clothes .. and ripping things to shreds and re-building someone else's garment into my own...but so far everything is really technical, which i expected.. but also discouraging especially since it is a lot of hard work. i know that in time once you get through the fundamentals of design, draping, ect.. it will seem less foreign and i'll be able to use my vision and creativity and actually enjoy the learning...
and if i dont like it fuck it next semester ill just go into fashion merchandising, styling or special effects make-up being that make-up artistry is my main thang and hopefully one day retire to my farm of my bebes n ethnic foster bebes.

im still wearin my size 6 lil guhl undies from the disney store, and i know that one day it will change..and i'll be buying them for little mai-ling, quay-quay and pepito instead.
but for now they're comfortable despite how they may look im still breathing.

day 1 of missing faces thanks to time consuming schedules gets a "suck my ass"
you like my run on sentences and use of undergarments to reach new metaphorical heights,non?

jeebus

2003-08-29T04:53:38Z

ill cut you!!!!!!!!!

2003-08-29T01:43:22Z

i just saw the sexiest n most amazing thing on television u dun even know!!1
xtina,britney n madonna doin like a virgin all touchin eachother, struttin their shit n even kissing!
anwaysssss im calm now..

Brownie, the preggie bebes/ tysons half sister .. she has the most beautiful demonic hazel/yellow eyes
tysons mommy Isis

brownies pregnant so if anyone wants bebe pitbulls i'll let uknow when they come...isis escaped yesterday but she came back n joey n i probably have west nile thanks to being eaten to death by mosquitos lookin for her.
at least we caught another frog(cletus 2), hes just chillen in a slurpee cup waitin for his demise.
his bones are ours damnit!

dont point your finger at crazy people!!!!

Play around in dirt, you get mud cuz you know, I can either spread love or shed blood

2003-08-27T00:26:01Z

much shee goin on not a lot to say bc writing in here lost its enthusiasm.. as if it ever had any to begin with, you know.
started work yesterday at bou-bou..(iknow?) this couture-esque boutique ....so ill be doin that plus freelancin n school starts next week. so bleh...
lots of adventures spendin lots of time with my joey bebes...mostly leadin to his ass bein darker than me n both our asses gettin fatter... n dangering a few innocent bugs n animals ( don't worry not fuzzy ones) ... somewhere out there lies cletus' carcass.. unfortunately for us since we wanted his bones :(
anywayssss my sara called me earlier from cali n i found out shes datin a craddle robber n is gonna be on the man show sunday night in a bikini...
the new lilo n stitch movie came out today and dont you forget it!
tysons mommy n half sister are now livin outside our house since the rastas couldn't keep them anymore n wanted to put them to sleep.. so now we have a pitbull farm :)
discovering your mother's prescription for ambien is so good that tylenol pm can suck my ass. time to sew things , think til i go crazier and hopefully pass the fuss out you know how we do
n for your viewing pleasure here is jay

suck my ass

2003-08-15T02:04:05Z

yesterday was fulla downtown shoppin with my cookie n my bebes.poor bebes he definately deserves a medal...
i may fit into little girl's clothes but my head sure isn't tiny but ill blame it on my hair, :( xl camo hat, funny shit!
what a fuckin day today, its a good thing my bride wasn't on time cause as soon as i was done doin her make-up as a trial run for her wedding, i was supposed to go into the city to steal my joey.
fortunately i waited a while bullshittin with the girls waitin for her ass.. n the power goes out, so obviously she doesnt show.
if i hadn't waited so long I probably wouldve been stuck in the lincoln tunnel which according to my bladder and the thought of being stuck, alone, in a hot ass dark tunnel for hours can suck my ass.
so i drive home, no traffic lights workin so the streets are fucked n people dont know how to drive... once i get home jumped in the pool w/ the puppy n chilled outside with my brother n his friend who lives here ...
once it got dark we went inside n my brothers friend starts plotting how we should take advantage of the situation n go to one of the banks he used to work at n bust into the atm since he knows the codes...
so we're seriously considering this and other lootin n once john says "wouldn't it be funny that as we are bustin out the money the power goes back on" ..
and wouldn't u know just after he says that the lights come back on!.. 5 hours later
Jeebus knows the troubles those two do not need anymore of thats for sure
hopefully freddy vs jason tomorrow!!!if the power comes back for ny n everything goes back to normal.. now its time for sewing, golden girls, friday after next n bath...
<3 for the dirty's return of electricity

cause u need sum of this dirtay

2003-08-04T23:24:26Z

ODB!! inside the private life n outta jail! thursday @10 vh1!

like a disease i'll control your mind

2003-08-03T20:55:35Z

"Been like this for about a week.Blooming my unhealthy obsession with my new girl Insomnia....I have very strange dreams. I remember very few of them. But lately my mind has been swamped with these half awake/asleep visions that I have been guilty for perceiving as omens. All ill. I hope that I am not affecting my friends/acquaintances differently because of them, but some of my dreams predict more pain, and I ain't playin da pain game right now.I think I'll stay behind the scenes for a while, try to keep quiet, and just take in my surroundings, and to surmise a rudimentary plan of action, or lack of action. Whatever is best."

i can never articulate what to me is and always will be non-verbal...
since i have all this time on my hands i've been left alone with my mind,which i haven't really had in a while... and why i almost fooled myself into somehow believing that being busy made me somewhat better.
i miss too many of you, hopefully i'll feel better n be free again by thurs when i go to the doctor

i also miss people i can never see again...n with everything that happened this year i never fully had a chance to deal because it was like a downward spiral leaving me in time, breathless...

after what happened here last week it hit me even harder that i can't live in this house anymore.. n is probably how i've developed bad dreams..

things need to change, as redundant as this piteous and far fetched hope i have may sound... it is all i have left. my immune system has always been shot therefore i do not heal properly..
hopefully between now and october i'll have found a place preferably in the newport/pavonia section in jersey city, or relatively close to the path station so goin to school won't be a bitch..
in the meantime since i will have to commute which isn't far at all but more annoying..i need money so i can get my geisha tattoo on my thigh.. n i cant wait for my joey to design the scarification piece i want on my other thigh.. you love it!

i'm the last one voted off the island n its only a matter of time b4 i go crazier...time for codeine and bed and repetitive movie watching xo

not my dolly!!

2003-08-01T03:03:27Z

silly tyty scruffs not for aminals!!!!!

likeavirgin @ 2003-07-25T12:22:00

2003-07-25T04:22:30Z

gimme gimme gimme!

curious george cake

2003-07-21T06:58:59Z

more crazy after club times courtesy of la maison de xssie...
came back here with beb n booty chicken..
and your damn right we ate $30 worth of kfc by the pool..
i think im still hung over but at least i got my biscuit
treasure maps n chicken legs n puppy roast beef lip make christmas happen! n with that its time to pass the fuss out